1st world problems on a third world beach

1st World Problems On this 3rd World Beach;

Mad Sab went to Jonestown
crushed in the sands of this third world beach
she want to make learnings
yeah! She want to do teach

(but she's) SHOUTING LIKE AN ARSEHOLE, SHOUTING LIKE AN ARSEHOLE (x 4)
ARMY! NAVY!! R.A.F!!! (x 3)
They don't do airlift
won't outreach to your first world problems on this thiiiiird worrrrrrld beeeeeach

They thought they'd drown your potential in the bay of zebulba
dead eyes like these might require the revolver
want to make learnings
want to do teach
shouting like an arsehole on this third world beach

SHOUTING LIKE AN ARSEHOLE, SHOUTING LIKE AN ARSEHOLE (x 4)
ARMY! NAVY!! R.A.F!!! (x 3)
don't do airlift
won't outreach
bitchy 1st world problems on a 3rd worrrrrrld beeeeeeeeach

For all the James (written with Dr. Wilf & Kirsty McNichol);

James!!!
 The tesco manager
watch out we might just hang ya
from your petty...
power reaction
and your smug...
self satisfaction

YOU! YOU!! YOU!!! YOU!!!! YOU!!!!!
Must really love your job and
YOU! YOU!! YOU!!! YOU!!!! YOU!!!!!
Must dearly miss your mum
she lives on and on and on
in each decision that you make now

James!!!
Greased in with a touch of the rapeys
she's pure eggy dolphin
but no-one said "take me"!
Stotin' around with your petty erection
fertilizing eggs
& spreading infection

YOU! YOU!! YOU!!! YOU!!!! YOU!!!!!
just really love "the job" and
YOU! YOU!! YOU!!! YOU!!!! YOU!!!!!
must really miss your mum
she lives on & on & on
with each decision that you make now

James!!!
You're half fucking braindead
we live on an island
so we're all part in-bred
poor thing had to banana skin her teeth clean
to stop cursing your name in her dreams

*******************************************************************************
Back story; Dr Wilf, myself & a chap called Mohammed Ali (really!), went to get some booze from Tesco in South Street, Chichester for the only decent party of the summer a few years back. Mo was a strict muslim over from Ivory Coast to try his luck at work. He's a lovely chap & despite not drinking, was helping us carry it all. Wilf has this whole wannabe Warhol thing going on,  taking his performance art very seriously for his Phd. I'm pretty much 7foot tall & always have to remember to not be having as much fun as my friends or really be enthusiastic about anything, or the net curtain twitchers, door men & in this case, tesco manager, will always say no to me. Mo might have looked 25, but as a strict muslim & just wanting to get out of that wretched roman walled city & party with some friends in the countryside. "James" clearly had an islamic lineage & might have been a judgmental prick  toward Mo. Shitshow.

Anyway, on moving back to Glasgow my dear good friend Kirsty had been seeing a James from a band that was then doing quite well in the hit parade & was getting pushed, but this James had...no I won't get into this, but you can tell from the lyrics, I guess. Hmm.